It feels a little odd to be doing what I’m doing, but I don’t feel I have a choice. I need someone to talk to and I don’t feel I can trust my new friends with this. I can’t trust their reactions and I don’t want to jeopardize their friendship. Furthermore, I don’t want them know I’m following one of our own secretly. It took some debating but eventually the decision to find a priest of Olladra seemed to be the only reasonable alternative. I certainly wasn’t going to speak with a Cleric of the Silver Flame, they might smite me down with the secrets I was about to reveal to them. Besides, I didn’t follow that faith and no matter how noble Delian may be or how honourable he conducted himself I couldn’t trust his Church.
Reaching this decision was hard enough. I’d come to realize over the past weeks that violence and killing came to easily to me. I fear I’ve been struggling with this demon my entire life. With the exception of when I killed Mikhal I’ve always avoided conflict, preferring to run and hide instead. Now, in this new set of circumstances we are seeking out violence to accomplish our objectives. I’m just afraid I won’t be able to contain the darker side of myself. I find my hand strays towards Nibbler whenever the potential for danger arises. Sometimes the blade is out in my hand before I’m aware of it. No, I wouldn’t be going to the Silver Flame. They’d lock me up as a monster or a murderer. Best to stick to what I know.
That presented its own problem though. What I know is the Sovereign Host and Olladra in specific. However, Jonathon is the last person I want to have knowing about this. He already judges me and thinks of me as a vicious thug and murderer. It’s a hard thing to know. To travel with someone whose life I’ve saved and who has saved my own life. Yet to know that at the end of the day he feels I probably don’t deserve to live. That I should be the next evil put out of its misery.
So if I’m going to talk with a priest of the Host I need to make sure that Jonathon isn’t there. The problem is I don’t know which Temple he worships at; which brings me to my present situation and why I’m moving from shadow to shadow and rooftop to rooftop. I need to follow Jonathon to his regular place of worship so that I know to avoid it. I mean there are enough Temples of the Host around, and it’s not like I need a big fancy one; which is probably where Jonathon is heading.
It’s interesting to watch him as he walks. He stands so tall and proud, wearing his armour as though he were born to it. A group of Dwarves look up startled at his greeting to them. I know Jonathon has his own demons he keeps I’ve heard him scream in the night. But he sure lives a charmed life otherwise. His demeanour is welcoming and he’s gracious to all he meets. I suppose I’m jealous of his easy way with people. Folks see me and they shy away, hand on their coin purse and a quick gesture to ward of evil. Six take them! I’d never hurt an innocent. At least I hope.
As he winds his way into the Temple district I use a market to the left to move through. We’re close now and I can’t afford to be seen. He enters the Temple with a loud greeting. Perfect, I know where he’ll be and therefore where I won’t. Olladra guide me.